WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Sunday, December 1, 2024
End of November Update
Saturday, November 2, 2024
End of October Update
WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Tuesday, October 1, 2024
I Lied!
I started another project on September 28 and didn't include it in the update. It's a cowl for my husband, using the yarn he picked out.
Carry on.
Monday, September 30, 2024
End of September Update
WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Tuesday, September 24, 2024
Escitalopram Update
I think it's out.
I no longer feel exhausted all the time. I'm not clenching my jaw constantly or yawning. I don't feel numb anymore.
It took a while to start fading. A good two weeks went by with no improvement, then the dizziness hit. It was pretty constant some days. It's down to mild brain zaps in the evenings, and even those are getting less day by day.
I want to go to work again. I've cried again. I don't ever want to try another SSRI.
Monday, September 2, 2024
End of August Update
WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Thursday, August 15, 2024
My Escitalopram Trip
My doctor prescribed this for my anxiety. I started with 5mg for one week, then 10mg.
Over the next two weeks, I didn't notice any differences except for extreme fatigue and yawning. Then, by the third week, I'd started feeling a pressure-like anxiety, constantly. I was clenching my jaw all the time.
By week four, I began feeling numb - it's apparently calling emotional blunting. I didn't want to do anything I'd previously enjoyed, including my job (and I love my job). I also went to a concert and afterward, I didn't feel that sense of loss that I usually feel after an exciting event.
I started getting the occasional bout of vertigo. Once it was so bad I couldn't go anywhere.
On week six, I followed up with the doctor and they suggested that the dose was too low, and they bumped me up to 20mg. Oh my.
I kept thinking that this was going to get better, the medication just takes time, and I'd eventually feel good. Because of this, I kept everything to myself and didn't talk to my boss about what I was going through.
This last Tuesday, just past the seven-week mark, my doctor said it probably wasn't working correctly for me. (To my surprise, the emotional blunting was not her concern, but rather the vertigo and fatigue.) I've now got to lower the dose to 10mg for a week, then cut it completely.
The relief I felt when I realized that this wasn't normal and it wasn't working for me was like cool water on a hot day. I finally told my boss what had been going on. I know that the withdrawal from this medication will be interesting (brain zaps, apparently), but the knowledge that I will be me again once it's out of my system is what I'm fixating on. Even though anxiety-me has issues, I'd rather feel again and be interested in things.
Also, the low-level panic feeling I've had for the last day needs to go. I'll update again soon.
Sunday, August 4, 2024
End of July Update
WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Monday, July 1, 2024
End of June Update
WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Friday, June 21, 2024
First Memory
My very first memory is sitting on the floor in front of the couch, eating dinner, and my mom asking me (not nicely) why she got the couch if I'm not going to sit on it.
I was four or five.
Saturday, June 1, 2024
End of May Update
WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Friday, May 3, 2024
End of April Update
WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Sunday, April 14, 2024
Last Year
Last year on April 13, I was at work and was suddenly overcome by an incredibly powerful sadness for about 2 hours. I wanted to cry, I thought I was going to be forced to leave, and it stayed for so long. When my boss came back to the warehouse, I let him know what was going on because it was so strange!
It disappeared as suddenly as it started.
The next day, my brother's grandmother called to let me know his dad had been in a horrible motorcycle accident and died.
Sunday, March 31, 2024
End of March Update
WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Tuesday, March 19, 2024
Monday, March 11, 2024
Sunday, March 3, 2024
Thought #1
Have you ever heard a song on the radio and gotten almost violently thrown back into a memory?
It almost hurts sometimes, that feeling. Every time I hear 'Paparazzi' by Lady Gaga, I'm tossed back to 2009, working at that donut store, dipping flower-shaped donuts in white fondant. (That was a dark time, which is why it probably happens so consistently.)
When I hear 'Happy' by Pharrell Williams, I'm back on the cruise ship. I'd never been on a cruise before (haven't been since, either, but I'm not dead yet). At least that's a happy memory!
'Eight Miles High' by The Byrds has me back on a Sunday morning, listening to records with my Dad. It's a good, calm memory.
I've heard of this happening with smells, too, but music is way more powerful for my brain.
Friday, March 1, 2024
End of February Update
WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Thursday, February 1, 2024
Last Year's Pics
I finally pulled the pictures off my SD card. Here are some highlights from last summer's trip to Montreal, and visit to the Halton Radial Railway Museum!
Tuesday, January 30, 2024
End of January Update
January was a weird month. Actually, all the months are weird. They go by super quick (days, too) and before I know it, it's more than half-over. I don't know if it's because my job's busy (in a good way) or just because I'm old now.
We've been doing a lot of decluttering at home and I've been analyzing my stash. A lot of the yarn I like and know I will use. Some of it, though, had overstayed its welcome. I donated about 10 stash lots. Not a huge amount of yardage, but enough to lower everything by almost 6000 yards! I knit up a bit, too.
WIPs (new ones are bolded)
Monday, January 1, 2024
January
WIPs (new ones are bolded)